Night thoughts with my boyfriend

“Are you busy?” – I asked

“No, I am here”- He said

“I like to be alone, the feeling of emptiness creates an atmosphere of ideas and of my whole being
I don’t like people in general, in fact being in a crowded group creates me anxiety, all the voices all loud annoys me, I only have a few friends, at least they are loyal.
When I was a child, and sometimes even yet, I feel a bit nostalgic, because I could never make friends like the standard people, but then if I try I find like thousands of defects in them, or they betray me and I feel like it’s a waste of time…” – I started saying.

“I am thinking out loud”

“Is this a poem?” – He asked

“I realized at my young age that what matters it’s comfort
“Not parties, money, or sex. The thought of peace is what I try to hold and persecuted as much as I can”.

“These are my thoughts, and I’m sharing them with you”

“I don’t understand just yet why the world can be so pontly evil and fake. My best act of maturity was to try to understand them”

“I do 👀”

“Others just “Ignore” or follow the pattern. And when you grow up you understand so many things”

“I like it. They are kind of poetic” – he said

“The song by Billy Joel it’s so true “Slow down you’re doing fine” we are always in a hurry, even me, a hurry to success goals (which is understandable, for me, this is what makes me, in part, get up every morning, hope)
Bible says a lot of things about hope, and faith, but they’re different, I think we should have more faith and hope will appear as consequence, I just told God with tearing eyes I promise with all my being I’m going to trust him.
That’s another thing, trust
You need to trust yourself as well
Those moments when I’m alone crying (like last time after failing my exams) I heard that annoying voice”

“Faith, hope, love and trust are key. I agree” – he said

“You’re not good, you’re stupid, you’re not intelligent” and even when I remember it, it makes me sick, that’s why I heal myself alone, you need to trust yourself in order to succeed. And I had to shout the voice”

“I get that voice too”

“No one will understand, maybe my mum what I deal with, because everyone has a different path in life”

“I will try my best to understand” – he said

“Coming back to this, and about people, we as children have the hurry to make friends, to be adults.
When our best period of life, the purest and happy was the childhood
I honestly always rejected to grow up
You can ask mum
“Mum please make me come back to your belly”
When I say that now, as an adult she always says “That would be sad, I would lose any phase of you”.

“Yeah, I miss the simplicity and innocent bliss of childhood” – he added

“I think sometimes we don’t appreciate every phase of our life, but you realize life is really short and not long as commercials and TV shows say. You start to try to do your best, and do as much as you can, because at the end of the day, well when we will die. What we will bring inside are the experiences. Not the money, properties, friends, cars, titles. Neither your body, you bring your soul”

“What we do in life echoes in eternity
That’s what we should enrich every day, our soul”

“Only your soul and actions” – he said

“It’s so difficult sometimes with this materialistic society
It’s like playing opposite poles with molecules in a field
Society will hit you somehow
Because we make part of it, at the end”

“Yep. The right path always opposes the world’s path” – he said

“I have my moments of laughs and funny jokes, I try to make the ones I love to laugh, even if I have to do stupid or said bad jokes or stupid things
It’s so beautiful, relations
And yet
We decided to do war,
Politics,
Bullying,
Why?”

“Because of sin” – he said

“Yeah but
human being is selfish by nature
That will never change.
Philosophers always said it.”

“The human being is evil and selfish”

“Exactly, it’s in our sinful nature” – he said

“Some when they read it it’s true. But get offended. Think about it, you consider yourself a good person.
But in moments of difficulty or convenience, you’ll prefer to save yourself”

“Instead of the rest
And that’s our cruel nature”
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

“And yet they say…”

“No one is truly good” – he added

“Human being is the animal with the rational mind”
Might be. However
An animal is more empathic than a human
An animal will be loyal until its death”

“Yep” – he said nodding

“They won’t attack you if you scared or hurt them
We have so much to learn from them”

“Well, it depends on the animal” – he said

“Even dolphins are more clever”
“Let’s say mammals”

“Ok 👀” – he said

“A lion won’t hurt you
If you don’t attack
Well even some snakes
They feel your fear.”

“Unless it’s hungry”- he said

“That’s why they bite you
Not necessarily
They’re not meant to eat humans” – I pointed out

“True” – he agreed

“An animal was not made to
Even whales are such sweetheart
And humans killed so many because “They’re aggressive”
That poor little thing eats only the plastic of our Ambiental disasters”

“In conclusion, whatever I look at it, the problem is human
We are the plague
And not even a pandemic or a war make people learn they have to change their approach in life.”